I have a cunning plan ...

The plan isn’t foolproof. For it to work, certain things must happen:

• The door to the vault must have accidentally been left open by the cleaning woman.

• The guard must bend over to tie his shoes and somehow he gets all the shoelaces tied together. He can’t get them apart, so he takes out his gun and shoots all his bullets at the knot. But he misses. Then he just lies down on the floor and goes to sleep.

• And the plan continues ...
  

Jack Handey at his bizarre, surreal, head-scratching best in The New Yorker. Treat yourself for a Friday