Self promotion 101

“I'm well-qualified. I have great experience. I'm a hard worker. I'm even a nice person. WHY WON'T ANYONE HIRE ME?”

I hear this kind of complaint on a regular basis. Chances are, you are probably doing one or two simple things wrong at interviews. The process of hiring is called screening and selection. I have long maintained that this is a misnomer - it should be called screening and elimination.

Suppose there are 200 applicants for a single position, 180 of whom are screened out at the CV stage. For the remaining 20, do you suppose that the interviewer is looking to find out the absolute best points of each candidate or the chinks in their armour? Which takes less time? Which is easier? Which is cheaper?

The ancient cliché tells us that if you've got the interview, you've got the job and that should be true, but never lose sight of the fact that the interview is all about identifying which of these short-listed 'possibles' is the real thing. Any interviewer who has made a few bad hires [and we've all done that] will tell you that there is a world of difference between the candidate who sounds good and the candidate who is good and sound ...

Here then, is Manahan's all-time list of things to do if you absolutely don't want the job:

• Turn up late, sweating and out of breath, because you didn't bother to scout out the building and you couldn't find a parking space.

• Dress inappropriately, because you don't care about the impression you make on your own, or anyone else's behalf. [And yes, that includes being in a suit when you should be in smart casual]
  

• Don’t really listen to the questions asked and prattle on nervously, laughing at your own hilarious jokes and regaling the interviewer with a stream of irrelevant anecdotes and examples.

• If that doesn't work, try answering with monosyllabic grunts and hostile stares.

• Tell the interviewer how he/she should be running the business and how you're going to change everything when you are in charge.

• Admit to perfectionism or overworking when asked about your weaknesses.

• Contradict yourself as the interview progresses, because you can't remember which lie you told to whom and in response to which question .... or better still, claim credit for significant achievements on your CV and then be completely unable to supply any detail as to how you accomplished these feats.

• Reveal that you have applied for loads of jobs in the last year, because your current boss is a boring asshole and you can't wait to get out of "that hole of a company."

• Ask trite, naïve, self-serving questions at the end of the interview because you haven’t researched the industry or the job and you’re only really applying because you want a bit more drinking money.

If you are not dropping any of these obvious clangers but you are not succeeding at interview after interview, it's time to swallow some humble pie and start learning from your mistakes. Most organisations now provide some level of feedback on your performance at interview if you ask for it. In the private sector, this process tends not to be particularly useful, with companies typically responding with some statement to the effect that there was a "more suitable", "better qualified" or "more experienced" candidate. Fine. You can let it go at that or you can:

• Ask them what you could have done better. ("What one thing did I fall down on?")
  
• Harass them - nicely.
  
• Send them a clean, simple check-list by e-mail and ask a real live person to take just a few moments to help you!
  
• Wait a month or two and send a congratulations card to the successful candidate.
• Then invite him/her to lunch and pick his/her brains.

Do not give up. Dig until you learn something that allows you to change and improve your approach. What's that definition of insanity again? Something about doing the same experiment over and over and being disappointed when you get the same result?

Maybe you are just underselling yourself. You use an alien language in the selection process, a vocabulary that you have no occasion to call upon outside of a professional interview. I call this The Vocabulary of Self Promotion. [It's the kind of self-laudatory phrasing that would get you a clip on the ear from your mother if you used it in her presence, no matter what age you are.]

What about fluency? An interview is an exercise in public speaking and as such, it merits a great deal of rehearsal. If you haven't worked out have good, persuasive and honest answers to the old chestnut questions, then you are in trouble before you begin. Brain-dump and practise your answers to the stock questions over and over. Better yet, use a video camera and watch and listen to yourself. Get feedback from your friends, family and network.

The majority of unsuccessful I have interviewed over the years have very obviously not done this. On a good day, I just feel sorry for the stunned bunny-wabbit expression I see on their faces. On a bad day, I want to lean forward and say, "How can you expect me to take you seriously? You are coming in here on a wing and a prayer with a few half-formed, half-articulated ideas floating around in your head and expecting to be hired in this demanding job? Go home!"

"Go home!"

If you are consistently failing at interviews, you are probably doing something very basic very badly. A blind spot, by definition, is something that you can't see in yourself. Your friends and family may not notice it either. Or may be too polite to tell you. Or you might not be listening to what they are telling you. The information is there. Have the courage to look for it.